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… because, her mother-in-law says:

Even if they put out an extra Saints edition on certain days, they ain’t going to put no dead old ladies in that. … So, to be safe, she got to pass on to her eternal rewards on a Tuesday, early, to make the Wednesday Picayune, or on a Thursday for the Friday edition or on a Saturday to get in there on Sunday. Otherwise, nobody will know when the funeral is. … The announcement will be online, I tell her. Nobody my age reads no online, she says.

This is getting complicated …